Oh dear Blog, it has been too long. How I need the therapy you bring to my unfortunate little existence. Prepare yourselves, readers, as this episode of an Emotional Wreck proves to be sad and depressing.
Recently I have discovered, or rather admitted, that I am living a life of regret. Eleven years ago I lost someone very dear to my heart, and my life took a turn for the worse. I don't believe that we can ever recover who we once were when we experience that deep loss, and that we become lost ourselves. I still feel lost, eleven years later. I have made decisions I could not have fathomed back then, and I do not recognize myself, have not recognized myself ever since. I have two friends that I must thank for the sheer fact that I am alive and breathing today, because without their presence during that difficult event all those years ago, I know I would not still be alive today. I was hell bent on destroying myself, and as I sit here today I can still feel the effects of those careless actions. I have been broken my entire life. Each time I think that I might possibly have rebuilt some semblance of myself, I watch it tumble down around me, as a castle made of sand. Life keeps sending wave after wave to erode my shore and it seems as though there is almost nothing left.
Perhaps part of my problem is that that person was so spectacular and I experienced such amazing love and happiness with him, that everything since has paled in comparison. I cannot be certain. And I feel a tremendous amount of guilt in saying that, because I have since known some others who are spectacular in their own right, but I am not capable of fully appreciating who they are. I feel as though my mind has deteriorated since the moment I was told he was gone. That I have sunk deeper and deeper into my own mind that it is imploding on itself, there is no room for anything else any longer. How does one move past something they will never forget? There is no getting over it. There is only pushing through each miserable day with the hope that the next will be easier. And for me, it is increasingly difficult to maintain my hope in general, not just in this.
I have a lot to be thankful for. I do not wish to be discontent with my life. I have a beautiful son who is so full of wonder and delight it is contagious. I married a good man who does his best to provide for our family and is a wonderful father. And yet, I cannot shake this awful black shroud of mourning. It has transformed over the years from mourning the loss of that person to mourning the loss of myself. I feel that so many opportunities have passed me by because my vision was clouded all these years. It is only now, in retrospect that I can see the different paths I might have taken. Is this Satan, working to destroy my fragile mind? It must be, I have no other explanation for why I cannot let go of things that might have been. I love my husband, and I would not trade anything in this world for my amazing baby boy, but at times, I cannot help but wish I had made another choice. When every fiber of my being was screaming at me to choose another way, my heart whispered to choose this life. And I did. And I have questioned myself ever since.
And here I am, in a place I would never choose to live my days, with a man I hardly know anymore, in a job I never thought I would have, without friends, without my family. Without anyone who understands any part of me. And to admit this in any way, shape or form causes me such pain, such disappointment in myself, such guilt, I can hardly stand to exist.
At any moment I am expecting total and utter chaos to break loose within me, and a full fledged nervous breakdown to completely destroy the fragile frame I am barely able to maintain on a day to day basis.
I don't know how to BE, to experience, to enjoy, to live. I am trapped in the confines of my thoughts, my fears, my dreams, my destroyed life plans. With each day I become more incapable and more self loathing. I don't have it within me to rise up any longer, I am so beaten down by life. I see no escape, no relief, no end to this quagmire of feelings that continues to suck me down and down.
I long to be that wife and mother that my family can be proud of, that I can be proud of, where I can get out of bed each day with something to look forward to rather than this awful creature that only looks forward to each day's end for the simple fact that it means I have one less day to live through. I am black inside. I am being swallowed up by the blackness. And this awful madness that I endure won't go away. I don't know how to change, to make it go away, to be positive and productive. My instincts tell me to curl up into a ball in a dark place and wait until I stop breathing. The sadness of these thoughts, the sheer hopelessness and awfulness strikes me as abnormal and terrible, but I cannot keep it to myself one more moment, because it continually fills me. I am incredulous at some of the things I have confessed here, but I needed so badly to say them. I feel I am again at a crossroads, I feel that I am about to make yet another bad decision, one that I will regret for the rest of my days. Something so insignificant in the giant scheme of life holds so much weight in my fragile state of mind.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sister Wives
I would like to take a moment to apologize to those that read this blog, and also to myself, for not posting in such a long while.
Moving on.
I really have to take a moment to rant about this show, Sister Wives. Yes, I watch it. In fact, I record it on my DVR so I don't miss it. While I definitely do not agree with their lifestyle choice, I am fascinated by their family. They have strong bonds between all of the wives and the husband, the children seem well adjusted. They get along for the most part, in fact better than some monogomous couples I know. I would never in a million years choose this, but they did, and they are really making the best of it.
Now, I also used to watch The Girls Nextdoor, when they were Holly, Bridgette and Kendra. I was also fascinated with their lifestyle, though I in no way agree with it. Nor would I choose that for myself.
Here comes the rant portion of today's programming. The Brown family of Sister Wives is being investigated for polygamy. Now, Kody (the husband) and Meri (wife #1) are legally married. The other 3 wives had a special symbolic ceremony to act as their wedding to Kody, but in no way is it a legal marriage. Why is it that we can glorify someone like Hugh Heffner, who established an empire by exploiting nude women, and celebrate his choice to live and sleep with sometimes up to 7 girlfriends at a time, but we villify this family that is comitted to one another and is trying to teach their children some values? No I don't think polygamy is a good value, but neither do I think an 80 something year old man sleeping with several 20 something year old women is acceptable. Why should the Brown family be persecuted for their alternative lifestyle, and Hugh Heffner and his girlfriends are celebratized? (if that's not a word, I don't care, I'm cool enough to make one up!)
My point is this- we watch all these TV shows about homosexuals, about Hugh Heffner and his girlfriends, about people with 20 billion kids, etc. As Americans we claim to be accepting of the alternative. Don't prosecute these people! They are no different than anyone else on TV. They aren't asking anyone to subscribe to their lifestyle. They all entered their relationship willingly, they are happy with their situation, and we should just leave them alone.
Moving on.
I really have to take a moment to rant about this show, Sister Wives. Yes, I watch it. In fact, I record it on my DVR so I don't miss it. While I definitely do not agree with their lifestyle choice, I am fascinated by their family. They have strong bonds between all of the wives and the husband, the children seem well adjusted. They get along for the most part, in fact better than some monogomous couples I know. I would never in a million years choose this, but they did, and they are really making the best of it.
Now, I also used to watch The Girls Nextdoor, when they were Holly, Bridgette and Kendra. I was also fascinated with their lifestyle, though I in no way agree with it. Nor would I choose that for myself.
Here comes the rant portion of today's programming. The Brown family of Sister Wives is being investigated for polygamy. Now, Kody (the husband) and Meri (wife #1) are legally married. The other 3 wives had a special symbolic ceremony to act as their wedding to Kody, but in no way is it a legal marriage. Why is it that we can glorify someone like Hugh Heffner, who established an empire by exploiting nude women, and celebrate his choice to live and sleep with sometimes up to 7 girlfriends at a time, but we villify this family that is comitted to one another and is trying to teach their children some values? No I don't think polygamy is a good value, but neither do I think an 80 something year old man sleeping with several 20 something year old women is acceptable. Why should the Brown family be persecuted for their alternative lifestyle, and Hugh Heffner and his girlfriends are celebratized? (if that's not a word, I don't care, I'm cool enough to make one up!)
My point is this- we watch all these TV shows about homosexuals, about Hugh Heffner and his girlfriends, about people with 20 billion kids, etc. As Americans we claim to be accepting of the alternative. Don't prosecute these people! They are no different than anyone else on TV. They aren't asking anyone to subscribe to their lifestyle. They all entered their relationship willingly, they are happy with their situation, and we should just leave them alone.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Day 13- To whom it may concern...
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently...
I have learned that the closer you are to someone, the more vulnerable you become, the more power they have to hurt you. You continually hope and genuinely believe that because you are so close with them, they wouldn't dream of doing anything to hurt you. And you genuinely believe that you wouldn't hurt them either. But it just isn't so. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me... Whoever came up with that is an idiot. Words are as sharp as daggers and often inflict deep wounds on their targets. I grew up in a family where word-daggers whipped back and forth daily. I have a lot of scars.
I feel closer to you than anyone I have ever known. That is a pretty big compliment to you. You generally make me feel safe, and loved, and I appreciate your patience with me as some of my old wounds are still healing. But lately you have become a word-dagger master. You say things that cut me to the quick, that make me angry and heartbroken and hopeless all at once. You make me question what we are even doing here... And I am so confused.
Talking through a conflict has never been my strong point. I would rather keep my mouth shut and go into ignore mode than try to talk through an argument or fight. This drives you crazy. Again, I apologize for all the scars that I'm left with from all these years. I don't know how else to be. I am trying to get better, I have been trying my whole life to become something different than what I am, something more acceptable to the mainstream. Sometimes I want to say forget it and make my own road. But lately, when I ask you what's wrong you say "nothing" and when I ask if you are alright you say "no." I want to help you, I want to be there for you, I want to know what's going on, because I love you so so much.
I know that you have your own scars to work through. I know you have not had an easy life either. But you are the talker. What am I to do when you refuse to speak?
I have learned that the closer you are to someone, the more vulnerable you become, the more power they have to hurt you. You continually hope and genuinely believe that because you are so close with them, they wouldn't dream of doing anything to hurt you. And you genuinely believe that you wouldn't hurt them either. But it just isn't so. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me... Whoever came up with that is an idiot. Words are as sharp as daggers and often inflict deep wounds on their targets. I grew up in a family where word-daggers whipped back and forth daily. I have a lot of scars.
I feel closer to you than anyone I have ever known. That is a pretty big compliment to you. You generally make me feel safe, and loved, and I appreciate your patience with me as some of my old wounds are still healing. But lately you have become a word-dagger master. You say things that cut me to the quick, that make me angry and heartbroken and hopeless all at once. You make me question what we are even doing here... And I am so confused.
Talking through a conflict has never been my strong point. I would rather keep my mouth shut and go into ignore mode than try to talk through an argument or fight. This drives you crazy. Again, I apologize for all the scars that I'm left with from all these years. I don't know how else to be. I am trying to get better, I have been trying my whole life to become something different than what I am, something more acceptable to the mainstream. Sometimes I want to say forget it and make my own road. But lately, when I ask you what's wrong you say "nothing" and when I ask if you are alright you say "no." I want to help you, I want to be there for you, I want to know what's going on, because I love you so so much.
I know that you have your own scars to work through. I know you have not had an easy life either. But you are the talker. What am I to do when you refuse to speak?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Day 12- How do you start a blog?
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one...
Ok, I know I have skipped day 11. I will go back when I find the stinkin picture I want to post for it. My apologies. I just felt like it had been too long since I wrote anything. Here goes!
I found out about blogger from a friend who had been thinking about starting her own blog for awhile. She researched how to do it, spent time looking at other blogs to get ideas, and finally started her own. So after reading hers a couple times, I thought, I could do this! This might be a good way for me to get some things out of my system and I really enjoy writing. I especially like the Blog Challenge because I think I do my best writing when I have a specific topic to write about, instead of me trying to come up with something I think everyone else would be interested in reading. I was totally inspired by my friend, we are in similar places in our life journey (married with semi-new baby boys), and reading her blog just gave me the push I needed to start my own.
Ok, I know I have skipped day 11. I will go back when I find the stinkin picture I want to post for it. My apologies. I just felt like it had been too long since I wrote anything. Here goes!
I found out about blogger from a friend who had been thinking about starting her own blog for awhile. She researched how to do it, spent time looking at other blogs to get ideas, and finally started her own. So after reading hers a couple times, I thought, I could do this! This might be a good way for me to get some things out of my system and I really enjoy writing. I especially like the Blog Challenge because I think I do my best writing when I have a specific topic to write about, instead of me trying to come up with something I think everyone else would be interested in reading. I was totally inspired by my friend, we are in similar places in our life journey (married with semi-new baby boys), and reading her blog just gave me the push I needed to start my own.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I apologize...
Yes, I realize I have seriously fallen behind. I am still pondering day 11... mostly because it is supposed to be a picture of me and my friends again and I don't have many on my computer. When I get around to it, (read: when I feel like it) I will scan an old one and post it. For now, I wish to vent, and since this is MY BLOG I will do what I want...
I hate people that think they are better than other people. Everyone is on an equal playing field. Just get that in your head. Because newsflash, no matter what we do in our measly lives, it isn't that significant to anyone other than ourselves, AND we all have the same fate. We are all going to die. So don't get in my face and tell me how you are better than me because you did this or that. I don't give a F**K!!!! I don't care what you've done in your life, if you are trying to flaunt it like you are the ISH then obviously you have learned nothing in the teensy amount of time that you have resided on this planet. The only person qualified to boast is Jesus Christ because he died for our sins, our mistakes, our shortcomings. And if you think you are better than anyone else, then you have MANY. I am so tired of judgemental morons. Seriously, take a long look in the mirror and I'm sure that you won't like what you see. And if you have the balls to come to me and tell me all your opinions and viewppoints, you can at least have the respect to listen to my point of view.
I would like to share a little bit about being an army wife. Some dumb @$$ TV show has dramatized what we go through. Yes, many army wives are flat out whores. I have personally known quite a few. HOWEVER we are not all that way. (P.S. lots of soldiers are manwhores too, so whatever.) Anyway- I am not one of those. Being an army wife, in my opinion, is just as hard as being a soldier. The soldier has the courage and bravery to enter the military, to give up his decisions and plans to do what the military asks him to do. The Army Wife also gives all that up. But we also give up our children's futures, we give up our hopes, our dreams, our plans. We give up our husbands, not knowing if we will ever see them again, trying to hold back tears and put on a brave face while we smile and wish our husbands well as they ship off to the unknown. I have spent 15 months of my life, not including training time, on pins and needles, not knowing if today was the last day I would ever hear my husband's voice. Not knowing if today would be the day that I had to tell his children (not mine, mind you) that their dad was never coming back. Yes, a single soldier risks his life for the freedom of all Americans. But a married soldier risks his life, his wife's life and his children's lives. So don't you dare sit there and tell me that you are better than me. Don't put down my husband, who has risked more than you even know exists. I appreciate what all of our troops have done for this country, and I admire their courage and bravery. But Army Wives have a bravery all their own. When a soldier is deployed, they are just worried about making it out alive. But an Army Wife has to think about what has to be done if that soldier doesn't make it out alive. We have to think about picking up the pieces and going on with our lives after the devastating blow. So think about that the next time you'd like to get in my face. I'm a different kind of fighter. I am an Army Wife.
I hate people that think they are better than other people. Everyone is on an equal playing field. Just get that in your head. Because newsflash, no matter what we do in our measly lives, it isn't that significant to anyone other than ourselves, AND we all have the same fate. We are all going to die. So don't get in my face and tell me how you are better than me because you did this or that. I don't give a F**K!!!! I don't care what you've done in your life, if you are trying to flaunt it like you are the ISH then obviously you have learned nothing in the teensy amount of time that you have resided on this planet. The only person qualified to boast is Jesus Christ because he died for our sins, our mistakes, our shortcomings. And if you think you are better than anyone else, then you have MANY. I am so tired of judgemental morons. Seriously, take a long look in the mirror and I'm sure that you won't like what you see. And if you have the balls to come to me and tell me all your opinions and viewppoints, you can at least have the respect to listen to my point of view.
I would like to share a little bit about being an army wife. Some dumb @$$ TV show has dramatized what we go through. Yes, many army wives are flat out whores. I have personally known quite a few. HOWEVER we are not all that way. (P.S. lots of soldiers are manwhores too, so whatever.) Anyway- I am not one of those. Being an army wife, in my opinion, is just as hard as being a soldier. The soldier has the courage and bravery to enter the military, to give up his decisions and plans to do what the military asks him to do. The Army Wife also gives all that up. But we also give up our children's futures, we give up our hopes, our dreams, our plans. We give up our husbands, not knowing if we will ever see them again, trying to hold back tears and put on a brave face while we smile and wish our husbands well as they ship off to the unknown. I have spent 15 months of my life, not including training time, on pins and needles, not knowing if today was the last day I would ever hear my husband's voice. Not knowing if today would be the day that I had to tell his children (not mine, mind you) that their dad was never coming back. Yes, a single soldier risks his life for the freedom of all Americans. But a married soldier risks his life, his wife's life and his children's lives. So don't you dare sit there and tell me that you are better than me. Don't put down my husband, who has risked more than you even know exists. I appreciate what all of our troops have done for this country, and I admire their courage and bravery. But Army Wives have a bravery all their own. When a soldier is deployed, they are just worried about making it out alive. But an Army Wife has to think about what has to be done if that soldier doesn't make it out alive. We have to think about picking up the pieces and going on with our lives after the devastating blow. So think about that the next time you'd like to get in my face. I'm a different kind of fighter. I am an Army Wife.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day 10- If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands...
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you're happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad...
FYI, I know I am a few days off schedule. It's my blog so I can do what I want. LOL.
Alright let's get down to business. Pretty much any of the feelings/moods above can be satisfied with some Gwen Stefani/No Doubt. They have upbeat songs, mellow songs, sad songs... I am a huge Gwen fan, so any of the songs will do, I love to rock out to her voice.
Lately I have been listening to Fergie's The Dutchess. I guess that would fall under happy and hyped. There are some mellower songs on that cd, but I usually skip those.
Back in the day I would turn to Dashboard Confessional for my sad/mad music.
I know I am just listing artists rather than songs, but that is because their body of work encompasses the feelings/moods in the prompt. I don't listen to just one song, I listen to cd's so it made more sense for me to list the artists.
FYI, I know I am a few days off schedule. It's my blog so I can do what I want. LOL.
Alright let's get down to business. Pretty much any of the feelings/moods above can be satisfied with some Gwen Stefani/No Doubt. They have upbeat songs, mellow songs, sad songs... I am a huge Gwen fan, so any of the songs will do, I love to rock out to her voice.
Lately I have been listening to Fergie's The Dutchess. I guess that would fall under happy and hyped. There are some mellower songs on that cd, but I usually skip those.
Back in the day I would turn to Dashboard Confessional for my sad/mad music.
I know I am just listing artists rather than songs, but that is because their body of work encompasses the feelings/moods in the prompt. I don't listen to just one song, I listen to cd's so it made more sense for me to list the artists.
Friday, March 11, 2011
day 09- I'm so proud!
Day 09- Something you're proud of in the last few days...
1. Bb made the talent show! We have been working on hard on her dance for the last couple weeks and auditions were yesterday... I am so proud of her! :)
2. I volunteered twice at the kids' school this week, and I have really enjoyed it.
3. I am so stoked to start my Sub job!
4. Baby J started to say his brother G's name- the first one of his siblings! <3 so sweet!
1. Bb made the talent show! We have been working on hard on her dance for the last couple weeks and auditions were yesterday... I am so proud of her! :)
2. I volunteered twice at the kids' school this week, and I have really enjoyed it.
3. I am so stoked to start my Sub job!
4. Baby J started to say his brother G's name- the first one of his siblings! <3 so sweet!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day 08- Show me the money!
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why...
My main goal this month is to get to work... I am now employed as a Substitute Teacher for the school district, and have done my training, so now I can find jobs. So I am hoping to get at least 3 jobs a week, if not 5. I like the flexibility of this job. I choose what jobs I take, and when I take them. If I have a dr's appt or a kid event I can be "unavailable" which is awesome because some days you just have other obligations. And I always have weekends off :)
Secondly, I am starting physical therapy this month, so I will more than likely havesome goals attached to that. P.S. I am going for tension headaches, I have had them nearly everyday for over a year, as long as I can remember in fact...
Third, I need to complete my FAFSA for next year and also find out what classes I want to take to continue my education. I will be continuing to work on my Bachelor's in English as well as my teaching certificate.
I have a couple other goals that I really don't want to put out into cyberspace, they are pretty personal, but just wanted to remind you that sometimes people in our lives have things going on that we don't know about and they need our prayers and thoughts, etc, to help them along. P.S. everything is fine, its just some stuff I don't want to share on the internet. :)
My main goal this month is to get to work... I am now employed as a Substitute Teacher for the school district, and have done my training, so now I can find jobs. So I am hoping to get at least 3 jobs a week, if not 5. I like the flexibility of this job. I choose what jobs I take, and when I take them. If I have a dr's appt or a kid event I can be "unavailable" which is awesome because some days you just have other obligations. And I always have weekends off :)
Secondly, I am starting physical therapy this month, so I will more than likely havesome goals attached to that. P.S. I am going for tension headaches, I have had them nearly everyday for over a year, as long as I can remember in fact...
Third, I need to complete my FAFSA for next year and also find out what classes I want to take to continue my education. I will be continuing to work on my Bachelor's in English as well as my teaching certificate.
I have a couple other goals that I really don't want to put out into cyberspace, they are pretty personal, but just wanted to remind you that sometimes people in our lives have things going on that we don't know about and they need our prayers and thoughts, etc, to help them along. P.S. everything is fine, its just some stuff I don't want to share on the internet. :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Day 07- Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful boy...
Day 07- a picture of something/someone that has the biggest impact on you...
My whole life is different now that I have my son, J, to love and think about. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, he means so much and is so special. Words cannot justly describe the wealth of emotion I feel when I look at him. Everything is sweeter now that he's here. I love you, J.
My whole life is different now that I have my son, J, to love and think about. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, he means so much and is so special. Words cannot justly describe the wealth of emotion I feel when I look at him. Everything is sweeter now that he's here. I love you, J.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Day 06- Its a bird, its a plane...
Day 06- Favorite Superhero and why...
This seems like a weird topic to me, but I will give it my best.
What exactly determines super hero status? This is the main problem I am having with this question. Boo for vagueness... Lets turn to our friend, Wikipedia, and find out.
A superhero is a type of stock character possessing "extraordinary or superhuman powers" and dedicated to protecting the public. Since the debut of the prototypical superhero Superman in 1938, stories of superheroes — ranging from brief episodic adventures to continuing years-long sagas — have dominated American comic books and crossed over into other media. The word itself dates to at least 1917.[1] A female superhero is sometimes called a superheroine. "Super-heroes" is a trademark co-owned by DC Comics and Marvel Comics.[2] Superheroes are authentically US-American,[citation needed] spawning from The Great Depression era.
By most definitions, characters do not strictly require actual superhuman powers to be deemed superheroes,[3] although terms such as costumed crime fighters are sometimes used to refer to those such as Batman and Green Arrow without such powers who share other common superhero traits. Such characters were generally referred to as "mystery men" in the late 1930s and 1940s period historians and fans call the Golden Age of Comic Books, to distinguish them from characters with super-powers.
Normally, superheroes use their powers to police day-to-day crime while also combating threats against humanity by supervillains, criminals of "unprecedented powers" in the same way as superheroes. One of these supervillains is often the superhero's archenemy, although sometimes the superhero has a rogues gallery of archenemies. Additionally, superheroes sometimes will combat such threats as aliens and supernatural or mythological entities.
Enlightening, no? Ha, I crack myself up! So let me get started on my superhero list. I have been thinking about this for the last two days. What a nerd, right?
I feel it's only proper to start with the more traditional superheroes...
1. Batman... because not only does his alter ego share my hubby's first name, Batman is a man. His superhero-ness comes from ingenuity and his amazing belt. Plus when I was little I used to watch the old show on TV, the one with Adam West, and I remember thinking it was so cool.
Now I have a whole new reason to love Batman... two words: Christian Bale. What can I say, I'm a girl after all, and I'm not blind... hee hee.
2. Rogue, from XMEN. When I was a young girl, I used to play Xmen with my cousins, and invariably, Rogue was my choice character to be. And I loved the cartoon... And I love the movies... This character also has a whole new reason for me to like her... one word: Wolverine.
Now for a non traditional superhero...
3. Rainbow Bright. Yes, I said Rainbow Bright. She is kick @$$!! Not only is she cute and spunky, she fights the bad guys with her horse and rainbows. :) I loved it when I was a kid, and I love it to this day.
This seems like a weird topic to me, but I will give it my best.
What exactly determines super hero status? This is the main problem I am having with this question. Boo for vagueness... Lets turn to our friend, Wikipedia, and find out.
A superhero is a type of stock character possessing "extraordinary or superhuman powers" and dedicated to protecting the public. Since the debut of the prototypical superhero Superman in 1938, stories of superheroes — ranging from brief episodic adventures to continuing years-long sagas — have dominated American comic books and crossed over into other media. The word itself dates to at least 1917.[1] A female superhero is sometimes called a superheroine. "Super-heroes" is a trademark co-owned by DC Comics and Marvel Comics.[2] Superheroes are authentically US-American,[citation needed] spawning from The Great Depression era.
By most definitions, characters do not strictly require actual superhuman powers to be deemed superheroes,[3] although terms such as costumed crime fighters are sometimes used to refer to those such as Batman and Green Arrow without such powers who share other common superhero traits. Such characters were generally referred to as "mystery men" in the late 1930s and 1940s period historians and fans call the Golden Age of Comic Books, to distinguish them from characters with super-powers.
Normally, superheroes use their powers to police day-to-day crime while also combating threats against humanity by supervillains, criminals of "unprecedented powers" in the same way as superheroes. One of these supervillains is often the superhero's archenemy, although sometimes the superhero has a rogues gallery of archenemies. Additionally, superheroes sometimes will combat such threats as aliens and supernatural or mythological entities.
Enlightening, no? Ha, I crack myself up! So let me get started on my superhero list. I have been thinking about this for the last two days. What a nerd, right?
I feel it's only proper to start with the more traditional superheroes...
1. Batman... because not only does his alter ego share my hubby's first name, Batman is a man. His superhero-ness comes from ingenuity and his amazing belt. Plus when I was little I used to watch the old show on TV, the one with Adam West, and I remember thinking it was so cool.
Now I have a whole new reason to love Batman... two words: Christian Bale. What can I say, I'm a girl after all, and I'm not blind... hee hee.
2. Rogue, from XMEN. When I was a young girl, I used to play Xmen with my cousins, and invariably, Rogue was my choice character to be. And I loved the cartoon... And I love the movies... This character also has a whole new reason for me to like her... one word: Wolverine.
Now for a non traditional superhero...
3. Rainbow Bright. Yes, I said Rainbow Bright. She is kick @$$!! Not only is she cute and spunky, she fights the bad guys with her horse and rainbows. :) I loved it when I was a kid, and I love it to this day.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Day 05- The Happiest Place on Earth
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you've been to...
This may seem lame, but I picked Disneyland, because I have been there about a million times, and I now live too far away to go there... I miss it! I want to take my baby boy there and my dad and all my friends. I used to have an annual pass, and go with my friends once a month. We would always have a color theme for our big group, and it would be Orange Day or Blue Day or Red Day, etc. I also got a pass for my little brother D. I took him there lots, and it was nice because we have a pretty big age difference (12 years!) so it was something we could both do and enjoy. He's 15 now and we don't really talk much, so I'm glad to have those Disney trips with good memories.
The first time I went to Disneyland, I was three... The line was so long just to get into the park and my parents started arguing so we left. What a sad first trip. But I remember this castle. I remember thinking how beautiful it was... So the first time I actually got to go into the park I was 9, and I went with my mom and stepdad #1 and my brother F.
For my 17th Birthday, a couple of my friends from high school took me there... we had a blast! They bought me a tinkerbell necklace :)
But I think my favorite times were the ones with our huge group. I just loved being together and running around the park. And I hope I can do that again soon.
This may seem lame, but I picked Disneyland, because I have been there about a million times, and I now live too far away to go there... I miss it! I want to take my baby boy there and my dad and all my friends. I used to have an annual pass, and go with my friends once a month. We would always have a color theme for our big group, and it would be Orange Day or Blue Day or Red Day, etc. I also got a pass for my little brother D. I took him there lots, and it was nice because we have a pretty big age difference (12 years!) so it was something we could both do and enjoy. He's 15 now and we don't really talk much, so I'm glad to have those Disney trips with good memories.
The first time I went to Disneyland, I was three... The line was so long just to get into the park and my parents started arguing so we left. What a sad first trip. But I remember this castle. I remember thinking how beautiful it was... So the first time I actually got to go into the park I was 9, and I went with my mom and stepdad #1 and my brother F.
For my 17th Birthday, a couple of my friends from high school took me there... we had a blast! They bought me a tinkerbell necklace :)
But I think my favorite times were the ones with our huge group. I just loved being together and running around the park. And I hope I can do that again soon.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day 04-My name is Sarah and I'm a Pepsi-holic
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn't have...
I am totally, completely, and uncontrollably addicted to PEPSI. I just have to have it. It tastes so smooth and refreshing, the effervescent sweetness trickling down my throat... I have to have it with lots of ice, because it has to be cold... like subzero cold. Ok maybe not that cold, but you get my point.
I wish I didn't have this habit- ok scratch that, it's a full blown addiction- because soda is known for its bloating and weight gain effects. Also, it can get pretty pricey. At some stores here a 12pack is 7.99!! Also, its a lot of sugar and caffeine to be consuming. Now when I was pregnant, I restricted myself to only one Pepsi a day, and I was very good about that. But as soon as that little bugger was born, I had a huge glass of Pepsi. In the hospital. Seriously... mere hours after my c-section. I attempt to stop now and then, ok several times a year... but it's really hard for me. I will do so good for like a week, and then I will just have a moment where I think, I need a Pepsi. And the cycle continues.
I am totally, completely, and uncontrollably addicted to PEPSI. I just have to have it. It tastes so smooth and refreshing, the effervescent sweetness trickling down my throat... I have to have it with lots of ice, because it has to be cold... like subzero cold. Ok maybe not that cold, but you get my point.
I wish I didn't have this habit- ok scratch that, it's a full blown addiction- because soda is known for its bloating and weight gain effects. Also, it can get pretty pricey. At some stores here a 12pack is 7.99!! Also, its a lot of sugar and caffeine to be consuming. Now when I was pregnant, I restricted myself to only one Pepsi a day, and I was very good about that. But as soon as that little bugger was born, I had a huge glass of Pepsi. In the hospital. Seriously... mere hours after my c-section. I attempt to stop now and then, ok several times a year... but it's really hard for me. I will do so good for like a week, and then I will just have a moment where I think, I need a Pepsi. And the cycle continues.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 03- Can I have a little help from my friends?
Day 03- A Picture of You and Your Friends...
This is from March of 2006, when we went to Hawaii for Spring Break. Incidentally this is the trip where I met my husband. This was one of the best vacations, and I had so much fun with my girls. We are flashin our gangsta signs, LOL. We are so not gangsta!
This is from the same trip, at the airport before we left. We were so excited!
This is from March of 2006, when we went to Hawaii for Spring Break. Incidentally this is the trip where I met my husband. This was one of the best vacations, and I had so much fun with my girls. We are flashin our gangsta signs, LOL. We are so not gangsta!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Day 02- Adventures of an Emotional Wreck- What does that mean?
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name...
So when I sat down to create this and it asked for my blog title, the first thing that popped into my head was the movie, Adventures in Babysitting. I have absolutely no clue why. So I thought, well that can't be the title, I'm not a babysitter, I'm a mom. So I kept the Adventures part.
Then I started thinking what could follow that... I am a pretty emotional person. I always have been. When I'm angry, watch out. When I'm sad, everyone knows it. When I'm happy, I'm pretty hilarious. I have an insane laugh. And most of the time, I feel like I am an emotional wreck. My emotions seem out of control to me, and I'm pretty sure my husband would second that. I feel like I am ill-equipped to handle emotional situations. Looking back on things that I've done or been through, it strikes me as being emotionally wrecked.
So there you have it, Adventures of an Emotional Wreck.
So when I sat down to create this and it asked for my blog title, the first thing that popped into my head was the movie, Adventures in Babysitting. I have absolutely no clue why. So I thought, well that can't be the title, I'm not a babysitter, I'm a mom. So I kept the Adventures part.
Then I started thinking what could follow that... I am a pretty emotional person. I always have been. When I'm angry, watch out. When I'm sad, everyone knows it. When I'm happy, I'm pretty hilarious. I have an insane laugh. And most of the time, I feel like I am an emotional wreck. My emotions seem out of control to me, and I'm pretty sure my husband would second that. I feel like I am ill-equipped to handle emotional situations. Looking back on things that I've done or been through, it strikes me as being emotionally wrecked.
So there you have it, Adventures of an Emotional Wreck.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Day 01- Are you ready for this?
A recent picture of you & 15 interesting facts about yourself...
So originally I planned to wait until tomorrow to post, because I already posted today, but I am kind of excited to get this challenge going, so here we are.
A recent picture of me...
Doesn't get more recent than this... My new Driver's License picture, taken today. Not the most flattering, but hey, driver's license pics never are. BTW, it took me 3 years to get up the gumption to go take care of this. And I passed my test with flying colors.
Now, 15 interesting facts about myself...
1. I recently organized an extremely successful diaper drive... and it made me think about starting a nonprofit. I'm still thinking about it. No plans to act just yet.
2. I could eat burritos everyday for the rest of my life.
3. I want to get my doctorate in English Lit someday. Then people can call me Dr. H.
4. I love the way my baby's breath smells. My husband thinks that's weird...
5. I absolutely love board games and card games... I wish we could play them every night.
6. I have my hunting license. I renew it every year, but I never go hunting...
7. I met my husband while on spring break... we've been married 4&1/2 years now.
8. When I was pregnant with my son, I ate 2 jars of pickles and 2 jars of pepperoncinis a week during the first trimester.
9. I love to cook. I like trying new recipes and dream of hosting awesome dinner parties. Need to make some friends here first, so I actually have someone to invite to my dinner parties...
10. I like to go "antique-ing", especially with my mother in law. I love her. And she has great taste.
11. I've never really played any team sports. Outside of the required PE classes in school of course, but I don't think that counts.
12. I love the way maps look... I want to get some framed for my wall. Especially older ones. I'd also like to have a Clock Collage.
13. I love to drive, and I love to go fast! Road trip, anyone?
14. I am a coffee snob. Also a water snob.
15. Last, but not least, in kindergarten I had an eighth grade reading level... I now own over 200 books... I guess I am officially a book worm.
Goodnight :)
So originally I planned to wait until tomorrow to post, because I already posted today, but I am kind of excited to get this challenge going, so here we are.
A recent picture of me...
Now, 15 interesting facts about myself...
1. I recently organized an extremely successful diaper drive... and it made me think about starting a nonprofit. I'm still thinking about it. No plans to act just yet.
2. I could eat burritos everyday for the rest of my life.
3. I want to get my doctorate in English Lit someday. Then people can call me Dr. H.
4. I love the way my baby's breath smells. My husband thinks that's weird...
5. I absolutely love board games and card games... I wish we could play them every night.
6. I have my hunting license. I renew it every year, but I never go hunting...
7. I met my husband while on spring break... we've been married 4&1/2 years now.
8. When I was pregnant with my son, I ate 2 jars of pickles and 2 jars of pepperoncinis a week during the first trimester.
9. I love to cook. I like trying new recipes and dream of hosting awesome dinner parties. Need to make some friends here first, so I actually have someone to invite to my dinner parties...
10. I like to go "antique-ing", especially with my mother in law. I love her. And she has great taste.
11. I've never really played any team sports. Outside of the required PE classes in school of course, but I don't think that counts.
12. I love the way maps look... I want to get some framed for my wall. Especially older ones. I'd also like to have a Clock Collage.
13. I love to drive, and I love to go fast! Road trip, anyone?
14. I am a coffee snob. Also a water snob.
15. Last, but not least, in kindergarten I had an eighth grade reading level... I now own over 200 books... I guess I am officially a book worm.
Goodnight :)
The Oh-so-popular Blog Challenge...
In an effort to remain creative and interesting to you, I have decided to board the Blog Challenge Train. A friend of mine is doing one also, this one is different than hers, however I did aquire it from someone else's blog. Hopefully I can not only accept the challenge, but succeed gracefully in completing it! :)
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.
Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Girls Day
So yesterday I had a girls day with my stepdaughter, BB. She cracks me up. She has got to be the sweetest little girl... she wants to be a veterinarian, and an artist, and a waitress. Ah, the innocence of youth! I remember when I had dreams like that. I wanted to be a fashion designer, a teacher, and a mom. Yay me, I am one out of 3!
So for our girls day, we went to lunch at Subway, because according to BB we need to eat healthy. I let her choose the spot of course. Then we did some shopping. We are fixing up the kids rooms since we recently moved, and she is super excited to decorate. A woman after my own heart! Then we got mani/pedis, the quintessential girls day activity. Then we did some more shopping. I must say, whenever I shop for clothes, I have to take BB. She is such an ego booster. No matter what I try on, she says I look beautiful. Talk about endearing! She is so thoughtful too, she picks out things for everybody in the family. Her only shopping downfall is she wants to buy everything. Note to self, must teach bargain hunting and how to be selective...
I feel so blessed to have her as a daughter... She is an awesome sister to my baby boy, J, and she is so loving and caring with all of us. I wish she could stay this way forever.
So for our girls day, we went to lunch at Subway, because according to BB we need to eat healthy. I let her choose the spot of course. Then we did some shopping. We are fixing up the kids rooms since we recently moved, and she is super excited to decorate. A woman after my own heart! Then we got mani/pedis, the quintessential girls day activity. Then we did some more shopping. I must say, whenever I shop for clothes, I have to take BB. She is such an ego booster. No matter what I try on, she says I look beautiful. Talk about endearing! She is so thoughtful too, she picks out things for everybody in the family. Her only shopping downfall is she wants to buy everything. Note to self, must teach bargain hunting and how to be selective...
I feel so blessed to have her as a daughter... She is an awesome sister to my baby boy, J, and she is so loving and caring with all of us. I wish she could stay this way forever.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Divine Inspiration
So a big shout out to my buddy, Alisa, who inspired me to start this by starting her own. :)
I think this is a good space to write about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. This is for me, not for anybody else. And while I hope people will read it, and gain some insight into my crazy antics, I am perfectly satisfied if no one does. Like I said, this is for me.
I don't know what this will be about, probably anything and everything...
I hope people enjoy it, and if not, well, no one is putting a gun to your head and making you read it.
I think this is a good space to write about whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. This is for me, not for anybody else. And while I hope people will read it, and gain some insight into my crazy antics, I am perfectly satisfied if no one does. Like I said, this is for me.
I don't know what this will be about, probably anything and everything...
I hope people enjoy it, and if not, well, no one is putting a gun to your head and making you read it.
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